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reminiscences

Its long since,i have actively posted something and today i made up my mind to devote sometime for blogging every day.But beware,that doesnt mean it would actually translate into lotsa blogs,for there exists a beeg vacuum barrier between my thoughts and actions.Any how,as the saying goes,'something is better than nothing' and comfortably forgetting the second half of the saying which says 'nothing is better than nonsense',here we go...

Well,the day started with a habitual failure for me..i had intended to get up early in the morning and go to the gym.but if there is one thing which makes me proud of my sincerity,tis this habit of waking up in the morning only to sleep again ,making a wow to go to gym the next day.nothing interesting happened after,for i was too lazy to do anything in the day.i donno if it happens to y ppl,but somedays i just wanna lie down and do nothing.not that i do something in the other days,but on these days,its real bold and italised NOTHING.Thinking of it,im worried about my lack of interest in anything of late.Everything seems to bore me out soon,including people.

Once upon a time,i was interested in love,had indulged in two or three affairs too.But i guess ive not been able to find some partner who suits me.The sick thing with these affairs is that they are interesting initially when you do not know much about the partner.But gradually the interest dwindles,until one fine day you find out that you love for the sake of being in love.That day,i broke off.Thinking back,i find that all those times when i was in an affair,it was not really love that bound me.It was merely a convenience,an emotional and physical convenience for me because i wanted to let out my feelings which were ripening with age.For my partners it was also the same convenience ,because they can safely bet on a horse that they know than going to the market to choose a new horse.Among all these mad scrambles for getting into love,the absence of real love doesnt matter so much.untill one fine day,you realise that you dont have any further fuel to keep it going.Well this is gettting to be a blog on its own,so lemme postpone it to another day..

With all these lack of interests,you might be tempted to ask 'Am i happy?'.Well as an answer to the question,If I am to rate myself for happiness in a scale of 1 to 10,i would rate myself at 15.For though im not interested in anything,i ve been doing whatever i feel like doing.Be it a sketch,or a small walk at beach,or a big pack of chocolates, it is always new for me,for i never repeat it till i feel for it.This reminds me of a famous saying which goes like 'A foolish consistency is a hobgoblin of little minds'.Well so thats it i guess,for today...

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